I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
