Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm at about main and main street
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize