Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Randomize
