Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is wine microwaveable?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
