i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
