I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
