Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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