I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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