i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
