It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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