dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
