May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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