Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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