is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I AM VODKA MAN
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
