i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
