Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
