I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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