wat bout pragnant strippers??
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
