the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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