And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
