apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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