i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
