this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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