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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I could fuck to npr.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her

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