I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
