C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
