Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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