Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
