Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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