We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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