census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish there were birth control emojis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
