Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
