in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize