some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
