you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
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eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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