i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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