paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
