i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
