FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
one might say we're banned from that church
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
