It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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