Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
