Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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