Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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