Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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