THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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