I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize