I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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