He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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