my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
