So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
