WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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