No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
