ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize