Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize