It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
