You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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