i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
