She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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