She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
