what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
