Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
