I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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