I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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