Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
