Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
