I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
