i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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