Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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