What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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