look no pants
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
